That Girl
Oh, to be THAT GIRL.
You know, the one who always looks like they have their life together.
The one who has a consistent schedule.
The one who gets up early.
The one who is comparable to the queen. And by queen, I of course mean Kris Jenner. Nothing can stop that woman.
Let’s be honest, we ALL want to be THAT GIRL. And I’m not talking about Kris anymore. I’m talking about yourself. The best version of ourselves.
That’s what we’re striving for, right?
Lately I’ve been re-evaluating the person I am: Who I want to be, the people I surround myself with, the effort I put into things, the way I want to live my life. We’re a month into 2022, and truthfully, it’s not what I expected it to be. I was SO ready for this year. I was pumped. I was amped. I was ready to dive into the best year of my life, but so far, it kind of feels like 2022— more specifically, the month of January— has chewed me up and spit me back out again.
Cue crying pic:
I guess in a way, it’s made me even more determined to accumulate the life I want to live— whatever those means might be. The only issue is taking who I am in my head, and pushing her existence into the real world. To be THAT GIRL in real life. Because it’s easy to exist in a fantasy, but it’s so much harder to bloom in a world where there are people around corners who want to tear you down. Who don’t want to see you succeed, who don’t support you, who ridicule you, who wish nothing but failure and unhappiness on your life.
Everyone is so quick to judge, so willing to jump at the chance to tear someone down for simply being who they are and who they ultimately want to be. And it makes it so much harder to thrive.
So I’ll say it again: Oh, to be THAT GIRL.
When I think of the woman I want to be, there are key points that come into my mind:
She’s on time.
She can convey her emotions, thoughts, and feelings concisely and well. She’s in tune with them.
She has a routine she can stick to.
She has discipline to do the things she doesn’t necessarily want to do, but needs to do.
She can grind to work towards her dreams.
She is extremely secure in herself, her journey, and the plan God has for her.
She’s a consistent friend, a kind individual, and a force to be reckoned with.
She looks put together; look good, feel good kind of vibe. No more “It’s giving me trash bag,” when it comes to fashion... which is ironic considering this is me right now.
me: in real time
Who I described right there is exactly the kind of human I’m striving to be, but it also seems so, so impossible. I’m never on time. I SUCK at explaining to people how I feel; I don’t even like to do it. I have no routine, and I don’t have the internal discipline to even stick to it if I had one. All in all, I have 0 cool kid points, no street cred, and my inner critic won’t stop laughing at me.
With a track record like that, how in the world am I going to reach what the buddhists call “nirvana?”
I’m kidding.
In all seriousness though, this is important stuff. At least to me it is.
I’m tired of waking up everyday and feeling like I’m not living my life in a way that feels important, or exciting, or like I have control.
And yeah, maybe to some people I sound a little crazy and you all think I’m losing it or kinda weird, but so what? The very best version of myself doesn’t care what others think about her.
That’s something this version of me is still working on.
And I’m not trying to be perfect; I’m not naive enough to think that’s possible for a human being as insignificant as me on this planet, but I do want to reach a point in my life where I can look back and see tremendous growth in my being. I want to reach the end of 2022 and ask myself, “Am I proud of who I was this year?” And be able to say, “Yes.”
I got a tattoo last month on my foot that says, “create the life you want,” and in all ways that tattoo is this blog post. Creating the life you want doesn’t start or stop with manipulating the cards you’ve been dealt, or taking the things around you and crafting them to your liking. I think it more so has to deal with becoming the person you want to be first, and then going from there. Because once you’ve reached who you’ve always wanted to become, obtaining the other stuff is easy. You have the confidence, you have the work ethic, you have whatever you need in the palm of your hand because THAT GIRL is no longer a fantasy. She is YOU.
We all have her living inside of us. I believe that wholeheartedly. That doesn’t mean she’s easy to obtain, because she is work. She is patience. She is change— and change is never easy. But she is worth it.
I know it.
Keep growing, keep changing, and keep being you.
Sky
